


I know you're choking on your fears

by idratherhaveyoucursedornot



Series: Moments in Between [1]
Category: Purple Hyacinth - Ephemerys & Sophism (Webcomic)
Genre: And holds the other person tightest, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Gen, HEA, HOPE KYWI BECOMES CANON 2021, Hugs, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I'm a simp for Kywi, Idiots in Love, Kym being a cutie, Kym is that one friend that gives out hugs all the time, Kywi, Kywi hugs, Kywi warms my heart in the cold dead winter chill, OH DEAR LORD WILL DESERVES A BREAK, PROTECT KYWI AT ALL COSTS, Then fluff, Will being a depressed cutie, Will is Tired, Will is the kind of person that never lets go first, but more like functional cutie, it gets soft i promise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-02
Updated: 2020-12-02
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:14:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27840580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idratherhaveyoucursedornot/pseuds/idratherhaveyoucursedornot
Summary: Feeling the weight of the world on his shoulders, Will finally succumbs to it, now that his mother isn’t getting any better.Angsty Kywi turning to soft, and then super soft. Imagine Will coming to the precinct afterWeary William.Characters and vision belonging toSophismandEphemerys. Castles from theiroriginal workmade into air by yours truly.
Relationships: William Hawkes & Kym Ladell, William Hawkes/Kym Ladell
Series: Moments in Between [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2054388
Comments: 10
Kudos: 70





	I know you're choking on your fears

Another day, another shade of blue in the sky, and surprisingly, an odd look on William Hawkes’ face as well. ‘Finally, looking like the shadow demon you are! On the outside as well?’, Kym teased.

Exuding a dark energy, Will stood in the break room, getting his third cup of coffee, in not even half as many hours since coming to the precinct. The clock had barely chimed at nine, and here stood William, chugging down coffee like water. Maybe it _was_ water because he made no expression whatsoever as he downed half the contents of the mug.

Unbeknownst to Kym, but well-speculated by her, William had been through another tough night. As Kym leered from behind him, trying to see the inside of his mug, he moved away, muttering, ‘I don’t have time for this today, Ladell.’

 _Someone_ is cranky today. Choosing to believe that this particular disposition in the Precinct Prince was courtesy of the dreaded early morning, she rolled her eyes. If the fact that Will had to deal with Kym’s shenanigans by himself today was the reason for his demeanour, she wouldn’t give him the pleasure of acknowledging it. Lauren’s break from work was a well-deserved one.

Yet, looking at the row of empty mugs only raised her concern. She tugged at William’s sleeve, voice diminishing to below the edge of mocking, ‘Seriously, _Willame_. You look like a machine. All death warmed over.’

William turned up his eye at her, holding in everything he was feeling. Turning up a façade to get through work, he reassured her, falsely, ‘I’m fine, Ladell. Do your paperwork.’

Reluctantly, Kym let go of his arm, nodding at him. What she couldn’t let go of, however, was the ominous feeling in her chest.

The day hardly passed by with Will exuding an unusually insipid aura and such a blank look on his face throughout the day, that even Secretary Desroses didn’t start small talk with Will as she usually did.

Any and all of Kym’s antics and flair went completely disregarded, unacknowledged by him as well. Frowning at the disarray of William’s actions and interactions, Kym cracked her knuckles, readying herself to finish _all_ her work, and finish it fast.

Now, nearing their lunch break, William trudged to the break room for what Kym supposed was his hundredth cup of coffee.

Just in time with her last report. Filing away the abomination, Kym followed right after him, shuddering at how much coffee he and Randall must have collectively inhaled in their lifetime. Shutting the door of the break room, Kym leaned against it.

Arms crossed, she cleared her throat, ‘I _never_ prod you about your personal life, Lieutenant, but you look horrible enough to warrant that consideration today. What’s wrong?’ William turned his head to her voice, pausing in the middle of pouring his coffee.

Noticing Kym and registering her words, he replied, ‘Thank you for your concern, Sergeant, but I’ll be fine.’ He continued pouring the lecherous dark liquid, filling his mug to the brim.

Hesitantly, Kym breached the topic, ‘I _know_ that you don’t like to talk about it, but it’s about your mother, isn’t it?’

Taking a sip of his coffee, William leaned against the table. Posed with his arms crossed in front of him, he evidently did _not_ want to have this conversation.

Kym didn’t want to bring this up either, but William had been looking even more grim than usual today, and _that_ was quite a feat, given how insistent he _always_ was on maintaining the façade of calm inside the precinct.

Given the reluctance on his face, Kym assumed the pause in conversation was more likely due to his need to figure out what to say rather than his incessant need for caffeine.

Nodding in understanding of her words, William downed the rest of his coffee. He responded, ‘Whatever it is, I’ll handle it.’

It was times like these when Kym was envious of Lauren’s ability to detect lies, not because she _cannot_ catch William’s lies. She was good at that. It’s because if Will thought she could hear lies, he wouldn’t bother lying to her at all, or trying to cover up whatever issue kept plaguing his mind, for that matter.

Begrudgingly, Kym pestered him, ‘I know that it mustn’t be easy on you but this surely wouldn’t help you either,’ at William’s indifferent squint, she added, ‘or your mother for that matter.’

None of his usual poise in the way his hands shook as he placed the empty mug, he stated, ‘Kym, I appreciate it, but let me be the judge of that.’ Refraining from crossing the distance between them, truly worried, Kym whined, imbibed in admonishment, ‘ _Willame_ , would you relax a little from all the worrying?’

That was it. The drop to bring the dam down, the last dreg, the featherweight to add to the liability on his shoulders, bringing him down instead of grabbing his arm and pulling him out of the nightmare that he had been braving through.

Would you be _reasonable_?

Would you _act_ your stature?

Would you _stop_ wasting your time?

Would you put in _effort_ to maintain the Hawkes’ legacy?

Would you _give up_ on your _childish whimsical_ fantasies?

Would you ever be _anything_ like your brother?

Closing his eyes, he turned down his head, trying and failing to find some semblance of cool and reason. Pinching his brow, voice small, he asked, ‘Relax?’ He looked up to face her, ‘I should relax?’

Brows drawn together in incredulousness, all it took was nothing from Kym and William exploded. He screamed, ‘She doesn’t even remember me at times, Kym!’

Fists clenching at his side, William continued, ‘Every single day, I keep going back to the manor, even when that’s the last thing I need.’

Ready to run but his feet holding him in place, William rocked slightly, back and forth. His arms fidgeted with every single moment, and all Kym could do was gape in shock.

Desperately needing to take a deep breath, he waved around his arms vigorously, ‘The _last_ thing I need is to keep seeing my father’s face, and keep up with his questions. His questions about when I would catch Lune, and his decisions and _prodding_ in my life,’ hoping that some of the tension would leave his form.

Running a hand through his hair, he squinted in mockery, ‘And the glare in his eyes at _everything_ he considers to be wrong!’ He was on a spiel, and if he had any strength remaining, he would have stopped.

Drained as he was, he belted out everything on his mind, in loud shouts and distant whispers. He muttered, ‘ _Everything_ I do is wrong for him anyway. _Always subpar_!’

Drifting from surprise to reluctance, Kym had finally ended up with her nose pinched up, and eyes wide at William’s aching. All she could do was witness and stare as William turned into a sardonic transposition of the reasonable and collected person, he had been every single day. She could have stopped him. She _would_ have stopped him, but she knew that he _needed_ to let this out of his system.

He had already held it, the pain, himself, together for far too long. Fury now losing its fervour in the dying embers of mourning; his voice scarcely made it into a whisper.

Choking on his own remorse, he stuttered, ‘My father- he- he has forgotten Rafi completely. And my mother?’

His entire form deflated, ‘Rafi is the only one she remembers,’ voice cracking, on the verge of tears, ‘I go home, everyday, hoping that she would recognize me, but the more that times passes, all she can remember is _him_.’

Leaning against the wall at the far end of the break room, he looked down at his hands. ‘I hold her hand, and she tells me how happy she is to _see_ me. But I can’t remember the last time she saw _me_.’

Crumpling even more on himself, voice barely audible anymore, he whispered, ‘I can’t even remember how it feels to hear her say my name,’ clenching his fists, he shut his eyes, ‘to hear her call out to me, and now, the doctor is saying that she only has a few months left.’

Turning his head up to look at Kym made him acutely aware of where he really was. He had just burst out in the break room. They stood on opposite ends of the break room, the opposite ends of the line; him, denying the reality of his situation and doing just about anything to not let himself break; her, waiting for him, ardently, because no matter what had gone wrong, accepting reality was the best thing either of them could do.

Relieved at noticing the closed door, he stood up straight, avoiding looking at the candid compassion on Kym’s face. Rubbing a hand over his eyes, he plastered a façade of fatigued joy, ‘Maybe I _should_ take a day off, after all. I’m in no –‘

His excuses faltered on his tongue as Kym wrapped her arms around him, gripping tightly around the collar of his shirt. It took a minute, but William eventually returned the embrace, unwinding in the warmth. Kym tightened her hold around his neck.

Softly, she whispered, ‘How will I know if you never _say_ anything, you absolute buffoon?’

Will held on to Kym, finally letting her weight overtake him. Fitting his head on her shoulder, he could’ve laughed at the irony.

Not even loosening her arms a tiny bit around William’s neck, she sighed, ‘You could keep choking on your fears, and dwell in your misery, taking on this mantle and just _handling it_ all by yourself,’ her already deadly hold became even more grounding as she added, ‘or you could be honest and confide in me.’ Belatedly, she added, ‘And in Lauren. That’s what friends are for.’

He could barely breathe with Kym pressing into his being with all her might, her arms around him nearly bruising in their strength, and he had never felt more at ease. Minutes passed and Kym felt Will ease up a bit, his breaths slowing down along with the beating of his heart. She drew back to look at him, resting her arms on his shoulder. He looked much more like himself.

Still holding on to Kym, he let loose a smile, this time a genuine one. Kym smiled right back at him, ethereal and mesmerizing. He _can_ handle it, but that didn’t mean he had to do it all on his own.

He let go of her, dropping his arms to his side. Clearing his throat, he began to speak, ‘I –‘, gratitude, promises, adoration and apologies, burning at the tip of his tongue. Kym fixed her gaze on him, curiosity and tenderness in the blink of her eyes.

A blink of her eye and everything that didn’t matter turned to dust in his mind, replaced by the glinting light he saw in front of him. He could only say out loud, acknowledge in the wind, what _did_ matter.

‘Thank you.’

Kym smiled at him. ‘And on that note, both of us will be abandoning our duties for the day,’ she stated, clapping her hands. The protest had only made it to the downturn of his smile, when she retorted before he could, ‘ _No!_ I have _finished_ all my paperwork, and you _deserve_ time off of work as well.’ She grabbed his sleeve, pulling him to the door.

He let her drag him, into the bullpen and then out of the precinct. He let her guide him into the sunlight outside, bright and gleaming, a rarity in the winters. He let her be his guiding light, lighting up his dark days with the radiance of her smile and the soft glow of her kind eyes.

When they finally sat down, he noticed the quaint café that they had ended up at. Looking around, he caught sight of near to none patrons. Treating them both with, much to Kym’s dismay, _not_ a watermelon-flavoured drink, he chose to tell her everything that had been going on, and in turn, hearing out everything that she had to say to him.

Wednesday afternoon. Sun beaming high in the sky. Two cups of tea, and an endless stream of honesty.

Gazing at Kym making animated gestures to make him laugh, Will chuckled, feeling the weight not wholly expunged but at least beginning to slip off of his shoulders. Walking out, Will stared at Kym’s eyes shining in the light of the dying sunset, wondering why they hadn’t done this before, unknowing, that it would be the first of many such rendezvous that they would grow to share for decades to come.

**Author's Note:**

> Here you go, a Soft Kywi stand-alone fic as I write the Kywi chapters in my WIP [There’s something in the air](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27247726/chapters/66564607). The song to go with it would be the [stripped version of Be Kind](https://open.spotify.com/track/2CAb0iGKrcIpzPvGOjJere?si=j8DIYdySRjCLo_cMTkMgWw). I got four words to justify this piece:  
>  _Dark Will? So hot._  
>  I always think that this is something Will deserves, and we only got an inkling of it in [Peaceful Promenade](https://www.webtoons.com/en/mystery/purple-hyacinth/s2-ep-63-peaceful-promenade/viewer?title_no=1621&episode_no=66). Dude’s holding himself together with sticky glue and expecting to pull through. *shrugs* Another motivation was breath-snatching Kywi hug because YES  
> You KNOW Kym gives the best hugs ;)
> 
> Comments and kudos fuel the fire of my writing forges ;)


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